Opposite the main gate of Keimyung University is a lovely little place that welcomes you with twinkling Christmas lights and carvings of naked women and giant penises. It’s great.
The owner, Young-Bae, as ebullient towards foreigners as the local ajummas are cold, compliments his restaurant perfectly. He will lavish attention on you and ignore everyone else for quite some time. His chief concern is always our names, and he is ruthless in his quest to pronounce then correctly. These pleasantries dealt with we move onto more worthy topics, which have so far included the composition of the UK and his friend Phil. You will be shown a video of Phil shot on Young-Bae’s camera phone. I’ve seen it twice.
You will also be given an inordinate amount of free food and drink. Last time I went we got free potatoes and 과메기, which is seaweed, fish and spicy sauce wrapped in lettuce, and seems like it should be expensive. Face-reddening quantities of alcohol may be “service” too.
So, the penises. Where to start? Well, crafted from ginkgo wood, they are virile, strong and well-veined, and with good heft. Most have long-haired, enormous breasted women straddling them. Sometimes the women are doing naughty things that I shall not describe here. These romantic vignettes are everywhere, a source of fun and Freudian debate covering a shelf that stretches round the room. Of course they are inappropriate but in a country where most mid-range restaurants are mirthless copies of one another staffed by mirthless, umm, people, Young-Bae’s penis shack is a refreshing alternative.
They exist, according to Young Bae, thanks to an older friend of his who is the penis and naked woman carving game. A niche market.
So, like our Roman forefathers, we dine under the gaze of penises and naked women. The menu is standard mokkoli house fare, and by that I mean at least 50 dishes and not a jot of English on the menu.
The outstanding dish is the kimchi chigae. It is not cheap at W10000, but is served brimming over a huge bowl that is enough to satisfy even the largest parties. Using far more garlic and herbs than most, and not as blow-your-head-off spicy as some, it is many cuts above the norm.
A warning: the hae mul , a mix of seafood, beansprouts and onion is crazily, evilly spicy and none of our group could manage more than a few bites. It is not recommended for those with taste buds.
Myriad pancakes decorate the menu at about 3000W each. Whatever your poison, it will be catered for here. Absolutely essential, if like us, you blithely ignore the worried lady shouting “mae-un!” (spicy!) as you order.
You may be aware that most Korean meals demand a certain alcohol be drunk with them. For those of us with a pancake fetish dong dong ju is the tipple. He once spent an excitable five minutes discovering on his cell-phone that this is made from millet, though my extensive research for this piece seems to reveal that it is made from rice. It’s the thought that counts.
Given the stories of foreigners being turned away, and the understandable nervous giggles and shuffles that often greet us, Young Bae’s place is all the more extraordinary. Just make sure your in effusive mood when you enter.
Getting there: Walk out of exit 2 of the Keimyung University subway until you reach the main gate. From there walk down the road until almost the first set of traffic lights. Young-Bae’s twinkling lights will be on your right, opposite WaBar.
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